Simple Gratitude

I normally don't write posts like today's but I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all of the many blessings in my life.  As many of you probably know Jordin and I are 27 days away from our marriage date and I'm about 2 weeks away from my first temple experience!  Getting to this point has been really hard.  In fact, its been a lot harder than I ever thought it would be!  I've had many role models in my life, but growing up in an LDS community made certain things such as making Temple covenants, being married in the Temple, serving in the church, etc. seem like the norm when really...well they are all huge commitments to make and require a devoted testimony to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  As I've prepared to make these covenants my own personal testimony has really come into question.  If the gospel is true than everything Jordin and I are doing (waiting until our Temple date, practicing abstinence, living with roommates instead of each other) is completely worth our wait...but really, is it worth it?  As I've gone through process of rationale, spiritual study, prayer, pondering, and self evaluation I've come to the conclusion that yes, it is completely true, as true as it was when I was 8 and being baptized, as true as it was when I woke up early in the morning to attend early morning seminary, as true as it was when I decided to come to an LDS University, the list could go on and on.  So why was I questioning my testimony at this exact moment?  This is something that I've thought about for quite a while now and I've come to realize the goodness of God.  In my Scripture Study class we've begun by learning to identify doctrine and distinguish it from principle and application.  I've been applying this to my study of the Chapter of Mosiah and I've learned a few things about the nature of God.  First, He cannot stand the least degree of sin.  Second, He tries his people to perfect them but after those trials come great blessings.  Third, He cannot lie.  The doctrine is not that he chooses not to lie or that he only doesn't lie some of the time, it is that he has absolutely no ability to lie.  Based on these three doctrines that I've learned (or re-learned) I've come to the following conclusion.  Before great blessings come great trials.  In the temple we are in the house and presence of the Lord.  The Lord cannot tolerate the least degree of sin so it is necessary that great or sufficient trials be given so that we can enter into the presence of God.  These trials are to remove the very desire for sin from our beings.  Of course, with such trial comes the risk that we will fail (as many of us do) and there must be some way that we can be cleansed of our sins.  This is where the vitality of the atonement is shown.  Without the atonement of God we cannot have our sins wiped clean through the repentance process.  I've also learned through this experience of the enabling power of the atonement to avoid sin.  The atonement is awesome in the very truest meaning of the word!  Finally, comes the question, how can we trust that any of this is true?  This is also answered in doctrine found in Scripture.  God cannot lie. 

In addition to these scriptural discoveries has been personal experience to prove that this is true.  Some of these experiences are too personal to share through this medium but there are many small blessings that can be shared.   Here are a few:  Jordin and I have had a much easier time observing curfew.  This has also led to more energy for classes and time for homework.  I've also had more time for scripture study, journal keeping, personal prayer, and visits to the temple baptistery which has increased the overall atmosphere in my life and led to greater guidance and direction.  How grateful I am for the atonement, both the enabling and the redemptive power it carries.  I'm also grateful for the challenges which have provided the proper encouragement to seek out the hand of the Lord in my life.  With such a realization is there anyway I could not sing my praise to the Lord!  How great our God truly is to provide such a perfect way for us to return to his presence.  I've also gained a great appreciation for families and the security found within them.  Jordin and I are being presented with the opportunity to create our own family and to support each other throughout our mortal lives.  We also are presented with the opportunity to be bound together for eternity if, as stated before, we prove ourselves worthy of a celestial life with God.  Oh there is so much to be grateful for!

Whew!  Make of that what you will. :)  Now for the weekly update!  This week I turned in the paperwork for my recital date!  I should be finding out sometime next week when exactly my recital will be and as soon as I find out I'll let all of your know.  This weekend has also been fairly eventful.  This morning (10:45 to be precise) I took the Music: Content Knowledge Praxis exam.  It was interesting...but actually a lot of fun because a lot of my other music major friends were all taking it with me.  We had a grand old time although the poor lady administering the exam may not have found it so humorous. :)  Jordin and I also discovered that we had all of the needed ingredients to make homemade burgers!  Thank you Rachel Ray for your wonderful bullseye burger recipe. ;)  They are absolutely delicious and I offer my testimonial for them!  We concluded our delicious night with a viewing of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, what a classic!  And guess what makes it even better?!  Tomorrow we get to go to church AND hang out with Kenzie (Jordin's sister) and Curtis (Jordin's roommate).  I'm really excited for the two of them to meet...hehehehe. :) Anyway, I should probably go and finish watching the movie with Jordin.  Thanks for reading and I really apologize if the beginning portion contained spelling errors, incorrect sentence structure, etc.  I have a difficult time expressing emotions especially when they are as deep or personal as the ones expressed.  Have a wonderful week and I'm sure that you all will hear from us soon.  Oh!  Just in case any of you are interested, I've started a blog for the soon to be Curtis Family (HOORAY) which can be located at erinandjordin.blogspot.com.  I'd love to hear your feedback about things you like, don't like, or would like to see added.  I won't guarantee that all of your suggestions will be implemented but we do really want to hear your input. :) Thanks!